Rattled yet again

I'm on a trip that i never wanted to take
my mind is a rocket and i'm strapped to the cockpit
my hands are tied, i cannot reach any of the controls
just a witness to the scenery that unfolds in rapid succession
through a dark alley this rocket is zooming
everything i see is rendered in photographic negative
i'm filled with anger and resentment
it's directed at nothing or nobody in particular
everything or everyone that comes my way seems to be the target
wrapped in a cold steel shroud painted with
miserable memories from the past, dreadful prospects from the future
it's like the first episode from the year 2000
obsessed with death but definitely not suicidal
sad songs seem like they were written just for this moment
desperately wanting to eject out of this flight
there's no light at the end of this tunnel
i realize i have commitments to honour
but nothing seems to be of any significance anymore
i realize there are people who need me back where i belonged
but i know any communication at this time will only make them sore
for i'm capable of being hurtful in this state of mind
waking up later to feel terrible about the things i said
guess i'll just go into hiding for a while
till the rocket runs out of fuel
or till i can extricate my hands and hopefully steer it into clear weather